Feeling particularly well today!

Things have taken a very nice turn lately.
The most important one for me right now is that I will be doing the internship required for my graduation this fall in freaking Boulder, Colorado!!!!!!111oneeleven
I'm really, really, really excited about this. And again it shows how often things just.. happen. Without really planning it. It so just happened that a professor from that university gave a talk at my university because he knows someone there and was on his way to finland (which is so very close to Germany... ... if you are from the US). Anyway, the person he knows happens to know the guy who is the supervisor of my thesis and invited him to come and he in turn invited me to come. First I didn't even wanna go because it wasn't a public talk and I thought it would be weird to go, but I went anyway and the talk was really interesting. Also, I felt that the comments I made and questions I asked where intelligent enough to make a good first impression so I was daredevil enough to ask him for an intership - and it worked! Wow. I'm so glad I did it even though I was nervous and felt quite bold.
We still have to sign a contract and I have to get a visa and find somewhere to stay and so on, so there are plenty of things that could go wrong, but please keep your fingers crossed that it won't, because I really, really, really wanna do this!

Moreover, someone asked me whether I wanted to be part of a group of young artists who run a gallery in the baroque part of Dresden, or at least show some of my pictures there. Unfortunately I haven't really been painting or drawing since I moved to Dresden, so I don't have any new artworks. But as I don't want to waste this opportunity, I'm going to work on that - but that has to wait until march/april. It also gives me a reason to paint again, which is something I've been wanting to do for a while now but which never was important enough, so I always ended up doing other things instead. But I'm full of ideas!


Other than than I'm still really busy with university related things, but the events of the last weeks make me happy which in turn gives me more energy for the tasks ahead. So I'm not gonna complain. Everything looks very peachy right now.

Not feeling particularly well today...

Sometimes I have this overwhelming feeling of not being able to cope with my life - or more specific: with my studies - at all. I feel that there is so much to do and there is just no way that I will be able to do all of it in a way that I'm satisfied with. Right now there are to exams ahead, one of which is super-important and the other one, that is just 3 days before that one, is also really important because both of them will partly determine my final grade - the one first mentioned will actually be 1/8 of my final grade. This is usually enough to freak me out anyway, but then there is also my thesis, which I am kind of starting, or not, I don't know, because everything isn't very organized and I don't really get what the guy wants from me or where he wants to go with the whole project. He's a great guy and he basically treats me like an equal, which I think is a good thing, but which is also kind of overwhelming and stressing me out. I don't feel competent enough for that. And then we agree on things I should do and when I get home I realize that I don't have any idea what exactly those things mean and I'm scared that everything I do is wrong. Moreover there are like five million other things I have to do for university - well, not five million obviously but I have a presentation next week which has to be finished on friday (today is wednesday) and I have literally not even read through the papers and stuff we are supposed to use. Plus, one of the people who is doing the presentation with me isn't even in town right now and will come back, like, one day before the actual presentation or something. Also, I have to present an interview I had to do next week and also hand in a 4-8 pages final report for another class, which I still have to write completely. And somehow I have to find time in between to study for those two exams in february. I already started to study for one of them in november or something and I haven't even worked through 1/3 of the content. How am I supposed to do the rest in 1 1/2 super stressfull months???