Dreams about last weekend

Obviously last weekend must have had a big effect on my mind as this is the third time I dreamed about it. My first dream was about really disgustingly blocked toilets at the place we were staying that the person who organized the whole thing (Golli) cleaned with her bare hands. The second one was about the LARP (live action role-playing game). Two of the characters got married.

Tonights dream was a bit more absurd. First of all, our annual meeting-kind-of-thing took place in Coburg, my hometown, where we were at that moment hanging out in the Steinweg. I think the place we were staying at was actually there. I remember that Solan, Nec, Puschel and Deli were there. The weather was awesome. It was really warm, but started raining in the evening and somehow I took that as a reason to get kind of undressed (I kept on my pants, which were pretty short, and my bra) and dance around in the rain. A girl in her early 20s walked by, smiled at me and asked "what are you doing?". She was holding a roll in one of her hands, was very blond and kind of pretty, but not my type at all. I walked up to her and said "dancing in the rain. What are you doing?". She showed me the roll and said, with a pretty strong Franconian accent: "Oh, I just got this awesome roll at the Rosengasse". Somehow in my dream I was completely sure that this girl wanted to make out with me, so we started kissing. I wasn't really into her at all, but just kissed her to show off or something completely stupid. After kissing we went a few steps away and started making out on the sidewalk. I remember that she still had a little bit of chewed roll in her mouth, that I got into my mouth while kissing her, which almost made me throw up. I continued making out with her nevertheless. After 6 minutes, Nec came by, just looked at us and went away again. After that I told the girl that I had to check on my friend (Nec), if he was okay. I wasn't really worried about him, I just wanted an excuse to get away from the girl. Then I left and followed Nec, who was by that time brushing his teeth, wearing his pajamas.

Warmth in my heart

During the last couple of months, something very remarkable happened. Do you know the feeling when you lose something, say, something from your childhood, and you don't even realize that it's gone, but then you find it again and that just makes you so happy? A similar thing happened to me recently. I found love again. I know this sounds extremely cheesy, but I don't know what else to call it. "Warmth in my heart" describes it pretty well, too. It's not like I've been full of hatred during the last couple of years. I did like a lot of people and I enjoyed spending time with them and life in general, but I was never really emotionally involved. I can't even really say when this started. Probably around the time when I was 17/18 or something. I didn't even miss it. I was perfectly happy with being a pretty unemotional person. But during the last couple of months it happens more and more often that I spend time with people and just feel this love in my heart and am so glad that these people exists. It's amazing! I love this feeling! ... just wanted to share that with y'all. Thanks for existing.

P.S.: To the two people, who read this blog and think that either the emotion is stupid itself or the word "love" is stupid: I love you nevertheless. Deal with it. And, as both of you love definitions, by "love" I mean "strong positive emotion towards a person, that is distinct from an evaluative judgement or result of a conscious thought process and that is characterized by a feeling of warmth"